Emotional Needs Aren't Optional: They're Essential.

One of the biggest misconceptions I see is that emotional needs are somehow optional.

They're not.

Just like your body requires food, water, and shelter to survive, your nervous system requires certain emotional experiences to thrive.

We all need to feel:

• chosen

• valued

• respected

• heard

• rescued from unsafe situations

• connected

• understood

• accepted

• comforted/ attended to

• seen

• protected

• witnessed

• like we matter

  
  

Notice something about every one of those needs. None of them can happen in isolation.

They all happen in relationship. That's why relationships shape us so profoundly.

When those emotional needs are consistently responded to, your nervous system learns something important:

"I matter."

"People can be trusted."

"The world is generally safe."

But when those needs are repeatedly ignored, dismissed, or met inconsistently, your nervous system learns something different, which can translate into beliefs that we feel - "I'm unworthy"..."unlovable"..."inadequate" - even when your conscious thoughts know better.

No matter what you think, what you feel is more influential with how you experience your internal and external worlds.

Not because you're weak.

Not because you're broken.

Because your brain did exactly what it was designed to do.

It adapted to learn how to navigate what you felt when you were young.

That's why I often say emotional needs aren't a luxury.

They're non-negotiable.

The difference between surviving and thriving isn't simply whether your physical needs were met.

It's also whether your emotional needs had a place to exist.

If you've ever found yourself wondering why relationships affect you so deeply, this is where I invite you to begin.

Not with asking,

"What's wrong with me?"

Asking instead, "What happened to me?" or "What should've happened that didn't?"

Inquiring within with compassion and understanding can begin to help you uncover how your nervous system adapted and why certain beliefs that developed as a result, can persist even when you "know better".