Walking on Eggshells in Relationships: Understanding Emotional Abuse and Gaslighting
Clarity While You’re Still in the Confusion
If you feel like you’re replaying conversations in your head, can’t sleep, and can’t make sense of what’s happening — you’re not imagining it. What you’re living through is real. I know because I’ve lived it too.
This resource exists for people who are searching for answers without judgement, people who want clarity before making big decisions, and people who want to understand what’s happening to them — not just what they should do about it.
Emotional Abuse, Gaslighting, and Why You Feel So Confused: What The Resource is About
This isn’t therapy.
It’s not a program.
It’s not a list of steps or advice about what you should do.
It’s clarity about what’s actually happening — the confusion, the shifting rules, the self-doubt, the second-guessing, the moments where everything feels unstable and chaotic.
People describe this as:
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Feeling like you’re losing your mind because your reality keeps changing
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One minute it feels fine, the next it doesn’t
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What you know you said becomes “I didn’t say that”
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Everything feels like a misunderstanding — but only when your feelings are hurt
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Trying to explain yourself and ending up exhausted and unheard
You know something is deeply wrong, but when you try to talk about it, you still end up feeling blamed or dismissed.
If Your Relationship Makes You Doubt Yourself, This Resource is For You
This is for you if:
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Something feels wrong but too confusing to name
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You feel like you're talking to a "brick wall" over and over again
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You’re second-guessing yourself and your experiences
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You want clarity before you decide about therapy or anything else involving your relationship
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You want to understand why these vicious cycles keep happening and how they began
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You want to hear from someone who can relate to you and you're not alone
This may not be for you if:
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You’re in immediate danger — support and safety come first. Get help HERE.
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You want a diagnosis or clinical advice from using this resource
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You want someone to tell you whether to stay or leave
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You want a substitute for professional therapy
Why Gaslighting Makes It Hard to Trust Yourself
The confusion isn’t random. It has mechanics — cycles, patterns, and dynamics that make your reality feel unstable. And because there are moments of love, apology, promise, or warmth, your hope stays alive even when your certainty disappears.
That’s why you stay.
That’s why clarity doesn’t suddenly make decisions easy.
That’s why trusting yourself feels out of reach even when you know something’s off.
Understanding what’s happening doesn’t fix everything.
But it does stop the internal gaslighting.
That matters.
How Emotional Abuse Gets Normalized and Repeats in Relationships
Emotional abuse is one of the most common — and least recognized — forms of harm in relationships.
Not because it’s rare.
Because it’s subtle.
Because it doesn’t always look like abuse.
And because it’s been widely normalized.
It rarely starts with cruelty.
It starts with connection. With intensity. With feeling seen.
And over time, it trains you to doubt yourself, override your instincts, and adapt to someone else’s reality just to keep the relationship intact.
What makes this especially hard to recognize is that many people were unconsciously groomed for these dynamics early in life.
Not intentionally.
Not because something was “wrong” with them.
But because they grew up in environments where love came with instability, emotional responsibility, silence, or self-abandonment.
So when these patterns show up again later, they don’t immediately register as danger.
Even if they do: They also register as familiar.
That’s how emotional abuse repeats — not because people choose harm, but because their nervous system already learned how to survive it.
This is why confusion is often the first symptom.
Why people second-guess themselves instead of trusting what they feel.
Why they blame themselves instead of questioning the pattern.
Why they stay stuck trying harder instead of stepping back.
Gaslighting, shifting rules, blame, emotional withdrawal, sudden warmth followed by distance — these dynamics are sneaky by design. They keep you oriented around the other person’s reality instead of your own.
I wrote Walking on Eggshells because people deserve language for what’s happening — whether they ever step into therapy or not.
Understanding these patterns doesn’t force you to leave.
It doesn’t tell you what to do.
It doesn’t require a diagnosis or a plan.
It simply gives you back your reality.
And once you have that, you get to decide what comes next — on your own terms.